To Have Loved And Lost
by hsmrmae
Summary: Nathan has been in love with Haley since he could remember and he's finally doing something about. The only problem is she sees him as a little brother, she's 'in love' with another guy. full summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

Pairings: Haley/ Nathan, Brooke/ Lucas, Rachel/ Jake, Peyton/ undecided

Summary : Nathan has been in love with Haley since he could remember and he's finally doing something about it only problems is she sees him as a little brother, she's 'in love' with another guy and everyone thinks she and his older brother Lucas are the endgame meaning their parents have been planning their wedding since they first met. So for Nathan getting his dream girl was going to be anything but easy.

Things to know: Haley and Jake are the only James children. Nathan and Lucas are Keith and Karen's children. Haley is a year older than Nathan and Lucas's BBF. And I can't write fluff for the life of me.

* * *

**Prologue**

"_Nathan I love you I've always loved you. I want to be yours Nathan. Take my innocence!" Haley purred and then she jumped Nathan wrapping her legs around his waist and taking his lips in a fierce passionate kiss. _

Walking up I felt like shit. I honestly think the universe hates me, i have had that same dream for almost two years, but it never gets further than a little kissing, I SWEAR! Not even on Christmas. It's like my parents PGed my dreams.

You see I am in love with Haley James. The most popular girl at my school. Haley has always been in my life except, she's always been more like an older sister than anything else. You see Haley is my brother  
Lucas's best friend they've been friends ever since we were little and some eight year old bully tried to steal my Spiderman action figure, don't judge I was only five, anyway my brother had his back turned and didn't notice so Haley stepped in and PUNCHED the jackass. The stupid shit went running to his mom. LMAO to this day I still laugh my ass off when I remember the look on the kids face.

It turned out that Haley was my brother's age. Which happens to be a year older than me and for some reason ever since that day Haley has always looked at me like some _fragile little angel_ in need of rescuing._ I know right? How ridicules_? Especially since I am the biggest badass in school. But then again all our friends are the biggest badasses in school. How you ask? Well ever since I started high school with her brother Jake we've always had the same friends. Which includes the best basketball player in all of tree hill, who happens to be the one and only ME.

There is my brother Lucas who as I mentioned is a year older than me he's the academic in the family and the group along with Haley of course. Then there's douche bag Felix he is the player-turned-celibate-after-falling-in-love, you see he's Haley's significant other. I know, I know your thinking 'What the hell type of name is Felix?' and usually id agree and give an hour long rant about how much of an idiot he is, but you see I am little busy telling you my life story right now.

Moving on.

Felix and Haley have been dating for six month and the douche has been as straight as an arrow because he's in love and shit. If you ask me to describe him in two short words then I'd say something simple and classic like; Lucky Bastard.

Then there's my best friend Jake. He's my age and as luck would have it he's also Haley's younger brother. They're super close like SUPER-freaky close. They now every little thing about each other which is kind of weird if you ask me but their parents raised them with one motto ' Do all the wacky shit you want just be upfront about it'. I am not kidding! That's the motto word for word. Their parents are cool like that.

Then there's Rachel, Brooke, and Peyton; the_ Fantastic Four. _Every guy wants them, and every girl wants to be them. They're as close as four people can be. At least that's what they think you see Peyton has been pinning for Felix ever since he and Haley started dating but since she couldn't get him she went after my brother who happens to be dating Brooke; head cheerleader and school council president. She pretty much has the same story as Felix she was a player who met the love of her life and decided he was worth her heart. What she doesn't know is what he and Peyton do behind closed doors. How you  
ask? How am I privy to this information? Well you see I sleep right next to those closed doors.

Anyway Rachel is the biggest bitch in the school scary as fuck, well that is if you get on her bad side otherwise she's as fake they come. Unless of course your Haley or Jake whom she's known since they were in diapers so they know the kinks in each other's lives. Haley and Jake are the only people that I know that have ever seen the real Rachel. Kind, vulnerable and sweet Rachel. Jake's words not mine!

Anyway back to me. I am hot as hell. I am not too bright but who the he'll need brains when you've got brawns and damn good looks.

I Nathan royal Scott am in love with Haley James and no one can blame me. Sucky part though is  
that I think she sees me more as the dark haired version of Jake which sucks cause, how do you tell your _'big sister'_ you're in love with her?

Don't answer that! It's a rhetorical question!

But I my people do have a plan, that Rachel helped me come up with, I know right? She found out I was in love with Haley like a year ago at first she thought it was 'cute' but after Haley started dating Felix, she started pushing me to tell Haley. I suspect that she knows that Peyton is a back stabbing bitch. But according to her she just doesn't trust the douche. And who am I to question her motives when it gets me what I want?

Okay, so she told me step number one of the plan. When I asked for all of it she told me to shut up and  
be grateful she was helping because she didn't have to do shit. So like any other self respecting man trying to get the girl of my dreams I kept my mouth shut. Don't judge!

So here's step number one ladies and gentleman:

#1 get Haley to tutor me...TADA!

I know right I thought it'd be some magically dinner with candles and soft music but no according to Rachel, Haley likes simple things. And what Haley likes Haley gets.

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AN: So what do you guys think should I keep going or just leave it there? Let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So I just had a thought how would people feel if I made jake gay? Let me know cause I am seriously considering it.

_I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place  
And you're still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes  
_

Okay did I honestly just wake up SINGING this song? The fuck? How did that happen?

Okay so I know how that happened. Haley has been humming it for some reason. Not that I am complaining! Woman has a wicked voice, so no way am I complaining.

You shouldn't be laughing at me! This song is the shit, bitches. But the freaking problem is the I am trying to freaking think about how I am going to approach Haley but all that's happening Is the song playing over and over in my damn head.

Its not like Haley is hard to talk to, its just that well okay for_ me _she's hard to talk. Its just that whenever were talking she's always wearing really tight tops. With those awesome breasts staring at me inviting me to just rip her shirt off. And I may or may have not been caught a couple times by varies people including her fucking significant other. He may or may not have threatened a couple times telling Haley would never be mine so like any other mature self respecting man I totally insulted his mother which made him punch me right as Haley passed by. Let's just say it was the best fucking day EVER. She totally took my side! That was until the next day when he told her everything that happened and she totally didn't believe that I was staring at her breasts. But she did believe that I insulted his mother, according to her it's a total Nathan thing to do, whatever that means. So instead of cutting me out like she did to Felix she just smacked me upside the head and we started watching the Notebook. NOT. MY. CHOICE. And if anyone asks I was SO NOT crying. There was a legit piece of hair in my eye. Everyone knows that shit happens at the worst times!

_When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell_…Felix_  
_

AHAHA can't wait till the day I say that to his face. Hopefully VERY soon.

So, I just ran through Tree Hill. You see I do this every fucking morning. According to my ass of an uncle Dan, if I ever want to make it to the NBA I've got to work as hard as I can. You see my uncle is a bitter asshole, but my parents keep him around anyway. Something about my mom choosing my dad Keith over Dan in high school. Any who he's just a bitter asshole. I always tone out his voice when he's talking except sometimes I'll listen when he tells me something about my basketball training. He might be a bitter jackass but when it comes to basketball dude knows his shit.

Currently, like right this moment I am driving my brand new 2011 Hummer H3 Alpha. No joke. You see my family is what I like to call fucking loaded. We own like a dozen car Dealerships country wide. Not that we make a big deal about it or anything. You see my parents are too humble for that shit.

So I just parked my brand new awesome car and I see Jake heading my way.

"New car?" he asked in greeting. You see we never actually hi or any of that gay crap.

"Yea man! She's a beauty eh?"

"She?" Jake asked with an amused look on his face.

"Yea man! meet Mandy!" i said gesturing to my beauty of a car.

"Mandy huh?" Said a teasing voice from behind me, that I would recognize anywhere.

I turned around to face my future wife –don't judge! It'll happen!- with a goofy grin that I couldn't control.

"Hales! Have you met Mandy?" I asked with a devious smile. She looked at my car with a chuckle.

"Oh yea Nathan she's beautiful! Have you popped the question yet?" she asked looking at me smugly.

"Aww don't tease Hales! You know you'll always be my number one girl." I said winking at her, and I swear I thought I saw her blush but as soon as it was there it was gone.

"Aww that's so cute Natey, too bad you'll never be her number one." Douche bag said mockingly coming into my line of sight and fucking putting his arm around Haley's shoulder.

"Hey sweetie." Haley greeted and KISSED him lightly on the lips. But ass wipe deepened the kiss and looked me straight in the eyes. Creepy bastard.

That fucking douche bag kissing MY future wife! And he actually thinks I am going to stick around and watch him kissing her. I swear to god I am going to punch the fuck out of that guy I mean common he's ruining my flow. Me and Hales were defiantly flirting, before ass wipe came and ruined everything.

I wonder how long I would get in jail for murdering him. I mean I am sixteen, right? Isn't that like juvie for a year or some shit? I am sure I could make it look like an accident.

Note to self: Watch more CSI.

I think Jake sensed I was going to snap, because he interrupted them sucking each other's faces off.

"Okay guys seriously stop! As cool as you are man I really don't want to see you defiling my sister." Jake said with a sour look to his face. Which I was positive was for my sake. He's never come out and said anything but I think he knows that I have a thing for his sister. And Jake being Jake, the cool guy -whom yes I admit to loving- he is, has never pressured me to talk to him about it. Cause I am no girl and I don't talk about my feelings and shit. God I love that guy. He's been my best friend for eleven years and he's always had my back.

Hearing the school bell ring all four of them headed towards the school.

"Want me to walk you to class babe?" I heard douche ask Haley.

"Nah I am going to walk with Nathan." Haley said looking at me with a thoughtful expression on her face that screamed I am about to make you uncomfortable. And Haley being Haley always lived up to her word, because a minute later found Haley pulling me into the tutor center. Which in turn found me thinking about all the fantasies I've had about this exact moment. Her pulling me in the tutor center and locking the door and then peeling her top off and making out with me and- Oh uh I think I just got hard. HOLLY SHIT! I am in a room alone with Haley, with a hard on. There's no way in hell she's not going to notice. So like any other guy in my position I started thinking about Whitey. And a second later any traces of having ever been turned on disappeared.

"- and I am sorry Nathan." Haley finished thoughtfully. Holly shit she's been talking this whole time. Holly crap what if she finally professed her undying love for me. HOLLY CRAP! HOW COULD I MISS THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT OF MY LIFE?

Nah she'd totally jump me by now if she did. I mean common who could resist the Nathannator? –Don't judge me people it's an awesome name-. Oh yea Haley can resist me! Don't rub it in!

"NATHAN! Have you been listening to anything I've said so far?" she asked me obviously annoyed.

Without thinking I answered truthfully . " Umm No?"

Rolling her eyes Haley started talking to me like I was five year old moron. "As I was saying, I am sorry about Felix being mean to you."

Oh so that's what she's talking about. I swear I HAVE got to stop making her think that I am some fragile little girl.

"I am a big guy! I can take care of myself." I said to her barely hiding my irritation.

"I know," she said smiling softly." It's just that for some reason Felix thinks you like me or something….So umm do you?" She finished nervously.

Oh SHIT! Douche told her? What a DOUCHE? Seriously, what is wrong with that guy? Okay I know what you're going to say, a lot of things are wrong with that guy but seriously what an ass.

Thinking fast I answered with the first lie that came to mind. "Common Hales I could never see you that way." Ughh I am an idiot. Please, please God or Allah or whoever else is out there, someone get the ground to swallow me out of here.

Wait what the hell did she just look disappointed? Okay, now I am imaging shit cause there is no way Haley could look at me that way. She sees me as her little brother! Doesn't she?

"Okay then…" Haley said softly. "You should get to class."

I turned around to leave but was stopped when an idea popped into my head.

"Hey Hales!" I called out to her.

"Yes?" she asked looking at me curiously.

"I need a tutor!" I said softly.

"Oh?" she asked me with uncontained amusement.

Rolling my eyes, "Yes Haley!... So can you do it?" I asked her.

"Do what?" she asked with the cutest fake confused expression I've ever seen on a person.

"Tutor me Haley! Can you tutor me?" I said with irritation. As if I am not nervous enough she has to go and play dumb. I know she's playing dumb, because I fucking know Haley. She always does this think with her beautiful kissable lip when she's lying. She always bites the shit out of it.

"Oh yes Nathan of course." She said mockingly and I fake rolled my eyes with annoyance, cause I've got to keep up appearances you know. Anyway I turned around and headed towards my class with every intention of talking to Rachel. Whom I just happened to run into as I was walking.

"Rachel!" I called out and she turned around rolling her eyes when she spotted me.

"Yes Nathan." She asked me with an annoyed look.

"What died and crawled up your ass?" I asked rudely because no one talks to me that way.

"Get on with it Nathan!" she demanded. WHAT A BITCH.

"I got Haley to tutor me!" I said feeling my earlier excitement die down cause of this miserable bitch.

"Well woobdy-freaking-dooo." She said sarcastically.

"You don't have to be such a bitch you know!"

"I just don't see the big deal!" she said and her expression softened a little.

"It's just that she said yes"

"Well no shit Sherlock it's not like she was going to say no." she said rolling her eyes at me again.

"Fine whatever," I said holding in the urge to give her the finger."What do I do next?"

"Nothing! Now you charm her with that Scott charm I've heard so much about but never seen."

"Well thanks for the help Bitch" I said turning around and walking away.

"NATHAN." She yelled and I turned around to look at her.

"I am glad she said yes and let me know how it goes!" she said with a soft smile and I finally saw a hint of the Rachel that Jake talks so much about.

"Thanks Rachel!" I said smiling and turned around and headed towards class. Humming to a picture of Felix and Haley in my head.

_When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell_

You've never seem so tense love  
I've never seen you fall so hard,  
Do you know where you are?

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself  
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you  
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell 


End file.
